Many audio publications grand some kind of idiotic rewards: “Product of Year”, “Editor Choose Award”, the “Best Sound at Show, “The Golden Ears” and so on. Trying to stay in the moronic awards-granting crowd I decided to form my own award: I would call it “The Ultimate Audio Dildo Award”. The “The Ultimate Audio Dildo Award” will be granted to companies, products, and any other public entities that pushed Audio bullshit envelop to very ultimate absurd level.  Be advised that “The Ultimate Audio Dildo Award” has no consideration to actual sound of the products but given just for marketing idiocy of the products presentation.

Taking about overwhelming absurdity: here is my first nominee: Balance Audio Technology REX preamplifier.

http://www.balanced.com/products/line/rex/index.html

REX is BAT’s new flagman preamp. I like BAT, I use to own some BAT equipment – they do OK within a context of a given requirements. They are kind of Starbucks of audio – good stable result that certainly leave a  LOT of room for relay serious and relay “high-end” coffee.  I like Victor Khomenko even though he is a menacing republican - well not one is perfect. BAT has also the very best customer service I have seen in audio...

However my general appreciation of BAT does not shadow the fact that BAT pretty much year after year keep re-packages the very same products into a new marketing BS and to promote the re-packaging as a “new invention of alchemists from Amsterdam”. Here is where Victor team out of picture and where the BAT’s marketing gurus take over. I truly hate those cardboard-cut, Vaseline chewing bitches – I met them a few time and I felt like some women after a rape – what to take a shower and forget that it even happen. Let see what they came up this time – this time it is a true “invention” well-worthy of my “Ultimate Audio Dildo Award”.

BAT have figured out that there is a limit how much to charge for a single chassis preamplifier and decided to hit marker with dual-chassis model. So, they took two ready to go BAT’s preamps, connected them with a cable and then say to each other:

“Hey! Here we have predrilled AC power entry on both units and the pre-laid out boards with power transformers and power supplies. How would we justify it if a person who sees it has more IQ then a typical idiot-reviewer (courtesy to Mike Framer who reviewed the REX)? Sure we can’t acknowledge that we are lazy and “economical” dudes who would like to announce a new model each 18 month and ignite a new round of marketing hysteria. So what we need to say? We need Victor to help us.”  

The task was given to Victor to pull out of his ass an explanation why dual-chassis BAT’s REX has so fuck-up PS design. Well in a few weeks the BAT official sales spiel was flying:

“We not want to make PS and control units properly (here is where they deployed a very fraudulent fear of low impedance lines between PS and load) so, we made one PS chassis as negative supply and another – the control chassis - as a positive supply. Oh, yeas, we ALSO do not believe in single-ended PS and we do only balanced PS.”

So, Balance Audio Technology REX Preamplifier has “intentionally-made” two chassis: one positive chassis and one negative chassis, the symmetric power supplies and the control line-level circuitry sitting on the positive chassis.  This design is priceless!!! I am sure what Victor wrote this justification for his marketing folk he was thinking: “If I were able to get away with this shit, then my next model I will have a microphone to witch a users whispers wisher for sound improvement…

Anyhow, the BAT’s REX preamplifier is my nominee for my site’s “Ultimate Audio Dildo Award”. 

There is nothing more absurd in audio than to see how people wish very sober faces pontificate about absolute BS and treat themselves with seriousness of NASSA engineers. Here is the new round:

http://www.walkeraudio.com/Eliminator.html

Czech Republic company Euro Audio Team introduced a “revolutionary” Flat Tonearm.

http://www.euroaudioteam.com/en/eat-e-flat-turntable-000046.html

(click imaged under the bottom to see it)

This is the most retarded design ideas that I have seen for a while. I think the next step would be to make a car with triangular wheels….