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12-20-2009 Post does not mapped to Knowledge Tree
Romy the Cat


Boston, MA
Posts 9,301
Joined on 05-28-2004

Post #: 1
Post ID: 12517
Reply to: 12517
Curiosity about others. Getting older I guess…
fiogf49gjkf0d

I am in my 40s and I am observing (in context of the subjects that might be related to this site) that my curiosity in audio more and more become self-centered. I am not taking about self-centrism as a selfish egocentric type but rather I talk about self-centrism as an exclusion of interest about experiences of others. The people who read my site regularly would anticipate that I would dive right here into a rant about my feeling that the majority people in audio are shallow, accidental and irrelevant. That all is correct, I do not step away from this position. However, by my diminishing curiosity about what others do in audio, does not only base upon boring experiences I got from others. I rather feel that “experiences of others” are generally not stimulate me as they use to do. As the result my curiosity about others is lower and instead, my curiosity is more turned intravertialy.

I begun to sense it a few years back and I feel that with time this is progressing.  I liked to “collect” what other do in audio. Formerly it was if not stimulating but at least educational. Lastly the educational aspect of the exposure to others is diminishing. Instead I more stimulated with discovery within myself the new things. Furthermore, I feel that I begin to experience great deal of annoyance when various experiences of others are presented to me in a format of “a message that intended to be delivered”.  I love when people talk about themselves. I adore autobiographies when people say “I” and when they indicate a distinctive stand. However, as soon people begin to shape own position as a significance specifically FOR ME then I would like to scream: “Go fuck yourself with your education!”

I very seldomly see people in audio who talk about themselves and own experiences of audio. In majority cases somebody always would like to teach somebody in audio and even if people have very best intentions I feel that it faulty direction, at least it does not work in my case. People hear the things and believe that they understand the things but the true understand is always comes from within, as own self-discovery…

In my past I read a lot of thing that might be considered by somebody as “philosophy”, even I do not like the word. A few years back I trashed all of it and nowadays I cannot digest a paragraph of philosophy – too annoying. I absolutely can’t read most works about music, not to mention musical reviews and analyses.  I do not like books about composers, singers and musicians. I love the books by composers, singers and musicians; I love their own dairies, own articles and reminiscences – I hate what somebody begin to interpret them for me.

In audio it is very much the same. People do not talk about own Sound and do not share own thoughts progress about Sound. They always try to shape own practice as some kind of educational tale for others – I have no idea why people do it but it turns me off. As the result, I have almost an unconditioned reflex that most of the experiences from others in audio will be associated with some kind of violation of my perceptional purity and with a need for me to discard 90% of what I learned as a sort of “artificial superstructure of audio intercourse”.  In the end, my curiosity in other audio people is running lower and lower and I feel that I can get more fruitful enrichment of my audio interests from within myself.

I wonder, if other people, specifically older them me, had experienced the same feeling in their 40s. If the Longfellow was right with his “Thy fate is the common fate of all”, then you the guys after 40s have passed over it before. So, I wonder: what is next? Will the curiosity about experiences of others continue to drop or it’ll get somehow returned back at another level?

Rgs, Romy the Cat


"I wish I could score everything for horns." - Richard Wagner. "Our writing equipment takes part in the forming of our thoughts." - Friedrich Nietzsche
12-21-2009 Post does not mapped to Knowledge Tree
Axel
South Africa
Posts 80
Joined on 07-18-2009

Post #: 2
Post ID: 12518
Reply to: 12517
Knowing by doing, and knowing by reading/cerebrally...
fiogf49gjkf0d
is what comes to mind when I reflect on your ponderings.
There is a difference in "real knowing" in e.g. how to ride a bicycle (arse in the saddle), and then you can read a book about it, and then some more, and then write some PhD on the subject, yet never really sat on the dang thing and pumped the pedals.

The more "real knowing" you acquire, the more pathetic or even ridiculous it will become to hear others to go on about there "cerebral or book or reading knowing" ---- because you just "KNOW" what you know at that stage.
Also, real knowing - what you KNOW - makes it tedious and boring to go on about surmisings, and all sorts of other BS when talking about subjects you happen to have acquired real KNOWING.
Maybe you must bring in the female side of things, since with men (in my KNOWING) they can never be known even approximately, this should avoid some of the ennui you experience.
Since you may not recall: I'm going on 64, and have done some insight "trainings" such as EST (I AM, in SA) some many years ago, 25 to be exact and my learning about those 2 kinds of knowing would yet have to be disproved.
If you know something "completely" you can not even talk about it any more, it would be like going on about whether the sun is going to rise in the morning --- now how long can you go on about that?!
(If you are a blind person, quite possibly all your life, as a seeing or "knowing" one, hardly so)
Greetings,
Axel
PS: Romy, you did lots of learning, and now you've become KNOWING ---- and got yourself thrown out of audio-paradise.
Blessed are the "humble" in spirit (stupid, eh), they can still write endless crap about audio, hm.
Or: with every thing you gain (e.g. knowing) you also loose (e.g. studidity), and now that's where you got. Welcome :-)
12-21-2009 Post does not mapped to Knowledge Tree
Saturntube
Posts 24
Joined on 07-08-2005

Post #: 3
Post ID: 12519
Reply to: 12517
Self inspiration
fiogf49gjkf0d
I am a self retired Painter also in my 40s,  It is hard to try to live from art in a developing country and to do it with some dignity,  but I did had some limited success.
The road in the art world IMO is really not about contacts and galleries and selling but, in my view (probably an incorrect-unsuccessful view), is about self knowledge. In the beginning one should learn techniques of course and this starts from an early age with some curiosity and some things you find easy to do some others may find challenging.  And then the real artistic education starts, which is looking, watching and analyzing any piece of art you can get your eyes on,  after some experience you start getting your own favorites and discarding what you dont like, be it because of the use of some limited techniques or because the esthetics dont agree with your own,  and then some big walls start to fall when some crazy artist makes a work that really crashes your vision, something you never imagined but like so much you cannot get enough and you start to soak yourself on those few works,  in my case I these pieces were Picasso Guernica, Monet Water lilies, Andrew Whyeth, Michael Angelo drawings, Motherwell, Diego Rivera Smaller works etc.  and though they were very influential, my work was never even similar to what they did,  except maybe for a few test paintings I made to absorb their techniques.What we say when painting is that you dont develop you own style until your own work becomes your inspiration.  When you begin to get inspired after looking at your own paintings and start to get new ideas and develop images further on different canvasses.  What happens then is that you get isolated you dont want to see anything else that could corrupt the images you are following in you head.  Sometimes you are successful in grasping what you wanted and some times you just start repeating yourself without getting what you really wanted, and then you get into a block!  and you have a solo show in a couple of weeks and you cant paint anything further.  Music helps unblock some times,  and my tastes on music became wild, form Beethoven to Cocteau Twins, Brian Eno.. trying to push ideas further.  One piece of work can take 3 months while another can take 30 minutes and the 30 minute one is better!  Another problem is when you start to acknowledge your sound system is not up to the task and that distracts you too.When you are in this stage comments from people become obnoxious, like shouldnt the hand be higher, or why dont you finish it,  and the best from and art dealer:  this work tells me nothing I just dont understand it,  dont you have something with more colors on it!   On my last show I had half the show of crap I got together to fill up the gallery and half of very advanced IMO very complicated works.. I sold half the show, guess which half!You can say I have been on a 10 year block and have dedicated most of my spare time now to advance my sound system and listen to music . I have filled the void of not painting with making horns...
12-21-2009 Post does not mapped to Knowledge Tree
Romy the Cat


Boston, MA
Posts 9,301
Joined on 05-28-2004

Post #: 4
Post ID: 12520
Reply to: 12519
The art of re-composition?
fiogf49gjkf0d
 Saturntube wrote:
When you begin to get inspired after looking at your own paintings and start to get new ideas and develop images further on different canvasses. What happens then is that you get isolated you dont want to see anything else that could corrupt the images you are following in you head.
Saturntube, your example with painting was very good; in fact it might better illustrate the concept. I do not pain at all but in my teens I was quite creative photographer. I do not do that photography for 20 years but if I did then I think I would be less motivated nowadays by examples of others. It is not about a fear that someone might corrupt my perception or expressionism. I do not mind to be exposed. However the source of inspiration is not the experiences of others but rather own live and own experiences – even further – own formal work. When you honest with own expressionism then I feel a devilish curiosity what next an artistic fate might lead me. For instance in Sound I much more interested to think what would be my next views about sound then to learn about the views of others. The views of others might be interesting but they do not have those personally-stimulating edge. I look at the painting-photographs-sound of others and I feel “That I great, I wish I was doing it.” However, when I come to the same as my own development then I say to myself: “Hm, now I get it” and this understanding is at very different level then if it come from others.

The Cat


"I wish I could score everything for horns." - Richard Wagner. "Our writing equipment takes part in the forming of our thoughts." - Friedrich Nietzsche
12-22-2009 Post does not mapped to Knowledge Tree
zako
Posts 85
Joined on 05-25-2008

Post #: 5
Post ID: 12523
Reply to: 12520
Perception
fiogf49gjkf0d
At 70,,, My perception is Every man is his own Island..... Stay away from Islands.
12-22-2009 Post does not mapped to Knowledge Tree
el`Ol
Posts 225
Joined on 10-13-2007

Post #: 6
Post ID: 12524
Reply to: 12523
Free association
fiogf49gjkf0d
Free association:
Have you read Michel Houellebecq's "The possibility of an island" ?
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  »  New  The most appalling audio types...  The most appalling audio types: personally over-vested...  Audio Discussions  Forum     10  68764  06-15-2007
  »  New  Playing music for visitors...  ...and sometimes it might be so deferent.......  Playback Listening  Forum     11  47555  01-27-2006
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